“Until I know that I know that God knows me, I do not really know Him.”

I have been thinking about what it means to be known and vulnerable. It is hard to be open and vulnerable. We live in a “highlight-reel” society. We use social media to put our best out there. We post our prettiest, most intelligent, most spiritual, coolest, most acceptable (I can keep going) statuses and pictures in order to get people to click a button that says we are liked.

But we lay on our beds each night rarely thinking about our highlights but our low points. We know the worst that we have done. We know the disconnect between what we want, where we do, where we are, and what we show. We feel lonely deep down because we know that we are not really known. If people really knew everything would they or could they even accept me? If I can’t accept me and others can’t accept me, how could God? If they really knew me… I have been wrestling with what it means to really be known, and I have realized something. 

Until I know that I know that someone really knows me, I do not really know them.

When you tell someone a secret about you, you expose yourself. And then you wait to see if you are accepted in that. I remember years ago, I sat in one of my mentor’s office and told him a part of my story that I had not told anyone. I told him the ugliest, the most broken, the part that I found that made me unacceptable. But when he turned, looked me in the eye, hugged me, and accepted me two things happened. 

  1. I was finally, totally accepted. Someone saw all of me and accepted me. He did not accept me only for the good. He saw the best and worst. He loved and accepted me.
  2. I really began to know him. Because I was fully known, I was able to know someone fully.

Here is my point, I think that is the approach we must take with God. We must know that God fully knows us. We need to expose ourselves fully to Him. I have to know that God really knows all of me. When I begin to know that I can begin to see that God actually accepts me. He loves me. He wants me. He calls me His own friend and child. When I see that God knows me completely and has not changed His acceptance of me, I begin to know God.

I will take it one step further and say that we need to do this for one another. We need people who completely know us. We need people that we know completely. We need to accept one another. As we do that, we actually begin to give and receive the acceptance that God has for us. What if we began to see the parts of people that are deemed “unacceptable” and still accepted that person? What if the gospel called us to be family before converts? What if we were so broken yet so loved that we never lived insecure? 

When I know that God totally knows me, I realize that I have begun to know Him, and I can do that for others.